Highlight: Several years ago, when I hadn’t done anything actively evil in sometime, God thought I deserved a gift. He gave me two of the most amazing people on the planet and forced them to be my friends.
They love me, not because they want to, but because they have to.
And because God is either truly sick, or just has a sick sense of humor, he sent one to New York, and one to Germany.
Well today he’s sending me on an all-expenses paid vacation to frolic in the Florida sunlight with them! I think. I’m pretty sure God is planning on paying my credit card bill, because I’m not.
I guess he thought, “Why just send them there when they are old and can no longer frolic. Since my plan to spread them out so they would find common ground in Amsterdam together has not panned out, as I have obviously underestimated their shiftlessness, maybe I should be a little more proactive and put them in Florida together.” (That’s how God does things, right? He just puts people places? I don’t ask him about his work.)
7 hours and they are all mine. Yay. Yay. Yay.
Lowlight: It’s a bad idea to predict your lowlight for the day, hours before you get on an airplane. I know that. But I talked this over with God, and told him that if I get a vote, I’d like for my lowlight today to be that I sit in the middle seat of a plane for two hours in between two stinky, fat, snoring, men. He assured me that my vote counts just as much as everybody else’s. Then he pretended to write it on a fake piece of paper. He thinks that’s hilarious–it’s his favorite joke.
